Satisfaction

This rage inside me must be satisfied
This fear inside me is not justified
Let down your hair let me pull you closer
Down on your knees, mouth wide open

Break you down I will
Cos that's what you deserve
Tear you apart I will
Break you further

Your reasoning, frail, giving away
You will let me have my way tonight
This hot, hard truth you feel inside

Putting out the fire

Put my finger on the bottle
And the flame goes out
I wish it was that easy
I'd use that trick on you
Reeking of desperation
The TV stays off
This is not a drill
But is this for real?

Again

This is the path I choose again
I'm a glutton for punishment..
And as I move I recollect
All those times I won't forget
Where this is coming from
I love the thrill of a chase
But inevitably I end up short of breath
Chasing those coloured helium balloons around
Will be the death of me someday
But I'd do it again and again
Till it feels like I'll never be the same
And then I'll do it again

Round we go again
Spinning till everything looks the same
When it all ends, I will start over again..

Cos I believe that this insanity
Is what keeps me on my feet
And even though I'll end up on my knees
It's a feeling I can't ignore
But is this what you're looking for?
Is this what you want,
Not what you think you want
If it's not, then I'll move on..
And do it all over again

I know I'm not invincible
But I'm also not invisible

Straightjacket Thighs

There are holes where my eyes should be
But I still see what I shouldn't
These ears are closing in
But I still hear the echo
Controlling, binding, can't let go, can't break free
Searing, stabbing, arms are stretching out to choke you

Falling into a blank page
Invisible lines
Staring into murderous eyes
Straightjacket thighs

Sick caramel delight ruined me
My size 10 shoes, clean as ever
Walk away, your hair don't scare me
This frying pan of delight keeps waiting
My body's melting, drifting, dripping
Light never dims, night never turns

Untitled #57

When the home screen on your phone shows nothing but the time
You know it's time to put those bags away and live for another
It's just the way you made me
It's just the way I saw it
There's nothing wrong with giving me your kind

So why don't you come
And fuck my mind again?
Why don't you come
And drive me up the wall
Why don't you look at me
With dazed confusion in your eyes?
And say some other time

The light outside my window doesn't shine
All the hair you left on my pillow swept away
The music doesn't play quite the same
But I'm getting closer and you're getting older

Well you don't seem to want anything at all
So why don't you let me give you just that?

So why don't you come
And fuck my mind again?
Why don't you come
And drive me up the wall
Why don't you look at me
With dazed confusion in your eyes?
And say some other time

This one's about trying to let go.

Modern Machines

Come up for air but I still can't breathe
Strike me again, watch me fall
Something breaks with every second of silence
As I dig at the earth to cover my feet

Breaking these modern machines
Relentlessly, exhausting
Breaking these modern machines
Frantic, with precision..

This is what I asked for
But is this what you wanted?

Breaking these modern machines
Fighting, relentlessly, exhausting
Breaking these modern machines
Frantic, with precision..

They smile as they stick out their tongues
At me they won't stop feeding

Regress into what seems to fit, I find these useless contradictions
These colours they all seem the same in this comic scene
Sickening silence, while nothing will see this done
I'll fall until I accept it..

This song is about trying to break free into something new. And failing. And trying again.

This Saturday

There’s a light when it’s dark
Distant times and places go hand in hand
Never ending sympathy paves way for the end
Will it ever be the same, or will it bend?

Stay away this Saturday
Let’s just keep what remains
Stay away this Saturday
What remains will never change

The love, the lies
All just fiction between your thighs
Here it is, the bullet.. In your mind
Scratch it out, leave it behind

This song is about ignoring signs and acting impulsively. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I kept doing it. I still do it.

I'm starting to hate being a nice guy

I've done some pretty fucked up things in my life and I'm not proud of them. Maybe that's why I try and overcompensate by being such a fucking good boy. But I'm sick of it. Sick of being pushed around and sick of being taken by granted. Right now, my self esteem has hit an absolute low. I hate my job, I can't get laid and I've hit a writers block where it comes to my lyric writing. I'm also not getting enough time for my music, which is what all I want to be doing ultimately. But I'm a fucking slave to my current lifestyle. I've been spoiled. I can't quit my job because I need the money. Come to think of it, this isn't any better than the drugs I was doing eight years ago. Of course, my life is better and I can think more clearly now than I ever did. So is this a sign? Is there some sorta place or time I'm supposed to branch off into? Fuck knows.

 

This is me, 'pondering'